Kay’s Sacred Space

With five more primary elections to go, Barack Obama has captured the popular vote, is winning by two to one in the state tally, is ahead in pledged delegates, and has garnered more super delegates than his opponent.  Why doesn’t Senator Clinton bow out of the race, gracefully, now?   Let’s examine what she and no one in her campaign are willing to talk about, the elephant in her dressing room.

Hillary and Bill Clinton are dependent upon one another; they are living the classic codependent relationship.  Codependency occurs when two people form a relationship with each other because neither feels that he or she can “stand alone.”  Neither person feels capable or self-reliant.  It is as if two half parts are trying to make a whole.  Both partners are seeking to become psychologically complete by binding the other partner to themselves.

You might be thinking, “Where do you get off saying such things about a former president and his wife who is running for president.”  I believe this to be true because of my experience as a Codependent woman for forty years.  We have reached the point in our history that our role models are dysfunctional.  As Robert Burney, author of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls says, “Dysfunctional families are the product of an emotionally dishonest, shame based, patriarchal society based upon beliefs that do not support Loving self or Loving neighbor.” 

I remember quite clearly the first time I ever saw Hillary Clinton.  She was seated demurely next to her husband Bill Clinton in a hotel room during his presidential campaign in 1992 for his interview with Steve Kroft for CBS News’s “60 Minutes”. When the allegations were made that he had a 12 year liaison with Gennifer Flowers, an Arkansas state employee, many viewers were shocked.  Bill Clinton denied Flower’s accusation, but he admitted that his marriage had not been without problems. “I have acknowledged wrongdoing,” Clinton said.  “I have acknowledged causing pain in my marriage. I have said things to you tonight and to the American people from the beginning that no American politician ever has.”  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and seeing.

Hillary’s expression was deeply hurt, although she did her best to remain tough.  Throughout the interview, she defended her husband and their marriage. “You know, I’m not sitting here, some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette,” she said. “I’m sitting here because I love him and I respect him and I honor what he’s been through and what we’ve been through together, and, you know, if that’s not enough for people, then heck, don’t vote for him.”

I remember feeling sorry for her that she had to endure this humiliation on national television.  How awful it must have been to experience such grief and then be forced to shove the feelings down to “save face.”  Why would a woman stay with a man after such a serious and dramatic disgrace?

This wasn’t the first or the last time she would do this. 

In spite of the fact that Gennifer Flowers held a press conference in which she played tape recordings she claimed were of secretly recorded intimate phone calls with Bill Clinton; the public accepted the renunciation of his marital infidelity. Later that year we know that he went on to be elected president.   All the publicity surrounding his affair was pushed to the background with all the excitement of the new administration.  (Flowers resurfaced again when in February of this year, 2008, she put the answering machine tapes for auction.)

Up next is Paula Jones.  On May 8, 1991, according to her story, Ms. Jones was escorted to the room of Bill Clinton, then governor of Arkansas, in the Excelsior (now Peabody) Hotel in Little Rock, Arkansas, where he allegedly propositioned her.  Jones filed a sexual harassment and eschewal suit against Clinton on May 6, 1994, two days prior to the 3-year statute of limitations.  Although there were no witnesses to back up Jones’s account, many other women were willing to testify to similar behavior by Clinton.  He and his defense team challenged Jones’s right to bring a civil lawsuit against a sitting president for an incident that occurred prior to the defendant’s becoming president.  The case wound its way through the courts, eventually reaching the Supreme Court on January 13,1997.  The Supreme Court unanimously ruled against Clinton, and they allowed the lawsuit to proceed. 

Under penalty of perjury, Paula Jones declared that Clinton had Trooper Danny Ferguson escort her to Clinton’s hotel room where Clinton made sexual advances that Jones rejected.  Clinton eventually dropped both his trousers and his underwear and exposed himself to Jones, at which time Jones said she had to go.  Before the case reached trial, Judge Susan Webber Wright granted President Clinton motion for summary judgment.  Jones appealed the dismissal.  On November 13, 1998 Clinton settled with Jones for $850,000, the entire amount of her claim, but without an apology, in exchange for her agreement to drop the appeal. 

This was another scandal for which Hillary Clinton had to wear a “brave face.”  Can you imagine how awful that must have been for her to anguish weeks, months and years of embarrassment behind closed doors.  She seemed to stay out of the spotlight and I can certainly understand why.  What was she thinking? What was she doing to manage the wound when she was alone?

Just when we thought it couldn’t get worse for Bill and Hillary Clinton, it did!  Monica Lewinsky.  This dishonor was to happen right under the nose of Hillary Clinton in the White House during Bill Clinton’s Presidency.  Between November 1995 and March 1997, Lewinsky had an intimate relationship with President Bill Clinton.  She testified that the relationship involved oral sex in the Oval Office and other sexual conduct but she said they didn’t have intercourse.  This affair became known and was plastered on every pulp paper on the newsstands.  It went on and on and on due to the diligence of Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr.  There probably isn’t one person who doesn’t know the outcome of this scandal; a 21-day trial brought up on charges by the House of Representatives which ended with Bill Clinton’s impeachment.  The Senate vote fell short of the 2/3 majority required for conviction and removal from office under the Constitution.  Polls of the American electorate taken at this time showed that up to 70% were against pursuing the allegations.

On “Dateline NBC” in November, 1998 another bomb shell was dropped.  Juanita Broaddrick, a former nursing home administrator from Arkansas, alleged that Bill Clinton had raped her on April 25, 1978, two decades earlier during his first campaign for the governorship of Arkansas.  She said she was visiting Little Rock for a nursing home seminar.  During the Paula Jones trial she had signed a sworn affidavit denying that Clinton had assaulted her because she didn’t want to be forced to testify about one of the most horrific events of her life.  She didn’t want to go through it again.  Many believe she changed her mind because of intimidation from Clinton.  She claimed she was being watched from parked cars, her home had been broken into, her pets released and her answering machine tape stolen while she and her husband were away briefly during the House impeachment probe.  Her interview was thought to be credible. 

Of course we will never know what was going on between Bill and Hillary Clinton but having this shame repeated boldly, over and over, to the American public must have been horrendous for Hillary Clinton.  I am sure it was horrible for both of them but I, being a woman, felt for her.  At the time I had many questions.  Does Hillary have a secure inner self?  She is an extremely intelligent woman; when will she denounce her husband’s actions?  Perhaps divorce is out of the question while Bill is still the President of the United States but what about when his term is over?  She seemed to be heavily into DENIAL!  I accepted this as her role of First Lady but thought surely when they left the White House she would separate.  It never happened.

I feel certain her run for the Senate in the state of New York was in preparation for her current presidential campaign.  Hillary and Bill Clinton need each other. They have built a life together of seeking control at any cost.  Lying seems to be second nature.  During the last several months Hillary Clinton has embarrassed herself many times with blatant distortions of the facts.  A few examples of the Clinton’s lies on the campaign trail:   1. Bill Clinton lied to voters at their rallies and said he had been opposed to the Iraq war from the start.   2. Hillary Clinton lied and said she had been opposed to NAFTA. After an advocacy group sued to have her First Lady records released, it was revealed that she had supported and advocated for NAFTA.   3. Hillary Clinton lied to voters about a trip to Bosnia claiming she was running for cover and did not attend a greeting ceremony. 4. Bill Clinton lied to voters about Barack Obama’s Iraq record.  5. Bill Clinton just completely made up a story to supporters about Obama dismissing the 90s.  6. Hillary Clinton said she was instrumental in helping bring peace to Northern Ireland.  7. Hillary Clinton lied to Iowa and New Hampshire voters about whether she would try to count the Florida and Michigan primaries.  8. Hillary Clinton lied at one of her rallies and said she began criticizing the Iraq War before Barack Obama did.  9. On April 21, Bill Clinton said “I think they played the race card on me” of the Obama campaign. The next day when an NBC reporter asked Clinton, “Sir, what did you mean yesterday when you said that the Obama campaign was playing the race card on you?” Clinton claimed that he didn’t make that statement.

Hillary supporters think she is a strong woman.  I don’t agree.  At times I actually feel sorry for her.  I believe her need to prove herself  “to herself,” to Bill, and to the world is her overwhelming reason to want to become President of the United States.  Just for a moment, try and imagine what it would feel like, to be in her shoes.  I have tried and can’t even go that deep.  She has created a false persona with facial gestures, and a boisterous laugh, which most of the time seem to be insincere. She appears to have an ego run amuk.  She is not willing to face the truth about Barack Obama’s lead.  The numbers don’t add up but it doesn’t seem to matter.  She will continue at all cost, even if it hurts the Democratic Party. 

One day I was listening to a radio station when a  woman caller made this suggestion:  “Hillary Clinton will not quit.  She is not going anywhere.  I have an idea.  Let’s suggest she be nominated as Supreme Court Judge.  This will satisfy her ego, need for approval and at the same time she could give back to society what she has been longing to give.”  Not a bad idea.